Unfortunately, this is who we are

Yesterday all Americans were stunned, even if they saw it coming, by the sight of an angry mob storming and occupying the Capitol. As we waited to hear the response from our leadership, I found myself silently hoping “Please don’t say ‘this isn’t who we are.'”

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what many leaders said. But at this point, let’s face it, this is who we are.

It’s not all of who we are, of course. The country is huge and varied and plenty of other things happened yesterday: lives were saved, cars were stolen, and dogs were walked. Somebody somewhere finished a puzzle. But the fact that something so momentous and awful could occur, and all the factors that came together to result in a violent attempt at derailing the legal workings of the government – that’s us, as well.

I’ve written about this issue before. By saying “this isn’t who we are” we are excusing ourselves from having to improve. It’s an out, it’s a cheat. And we have so many creative ways of letting ourselves off the hook, as we justify the behaviors we’re ashamed of: It’s not who we are, it’s just an outlier. It’s temporary. Don’t worry, this is just a few extreme people. We’re only doing it this way for now, once we’ve established ourselves, we will do better. After we win, we can start following the rules. Just this one time…

But it doesn’t work that way. We are what we do, not just what we say. We can always find some reason that this time is an exception, but if we don’t face the truth, then we will never change.

Admitting who we really are and owning our flaws isn’t as bad as we think. It’s OK to be an imperfect person, to work in a flawed company, and live in a country that has room for improvement. That just means that we have aspirational goals. Is anything complete and perfect, after all? It’s a show of strength to be able to say, “This is who we are, but it’s not who we want to be, and we’re going to strive to be better.”

What we are now doesn’t have to be what we are forever. But if we can’t admit the truth, we probably can’t muster the energy to change it.

Yes, this is who we are. But we want to be better. And we’re going to try.

If you know someone who might like this post, please feel free to share it with them. If you’d like to receive these posts (and a few bonus posts) by email, subscribe here.

One thought on “Unfortunately, this is who we are

  1. Good point, Jon. I guess when people think “This isn’t who we are” they really mean, “This isn’t who I and my friends are”—-they just can’t relate. But, as you point out, the “we” means just that—-we have to include the “nut jobs” that don’t see things the way “we” do. As a society, we need to decide how best to have common values that are good and true to the best in human nature, and work towards that. Unfortunately, we have to then work against the “worst” in human nature, which will always be present.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s